According to surveys one in every eight males have a tendency to cross dress or have a history of cross dressing. In the Premier League on Saturday there will be 22 players on the pitch. 10 on the bench. Do the math! That’s four players who have some form of link with cross-dressing. And they keep it a secret because…!? Well the stigma, the shame, the embarrassment. All that.
You’d think, wouldn’t you, that team-mates in dressing rooms would surely be able to suss out which of their fellow players has a tendency to wear stunning women’s clothes and dress up beautifully. But cross-dressing isn’t like that is it?
Is there any way of knowing? How can you tell if someone is a cross-dresser? There’s no special tone of voice or particular way of walking or secret hand-shake. I have a friend who was married thirty years before discovering her husband was a CD. That guy in the chic lemon pinafore might be a drag artist or a comedian or on his way to a fancy-dress party or fun run.
Thin eyebrows or shaved legs aren’t necessarily a give-away. Nowadays lots of men shave their eyebrows when they shave their scalps for fear of looking like Bert and Ernie from Sesame Street. Bodybuilders shave every inch of their body. There are some Cross Dressers who have more hair than the Yeti. There is no rule. The too pretty guy buying pantyhose or feminine hygiene products might be a caring husband.
Garter tabs under trousers or a tight bra strap on the back are probably a ‘sign’ – as are traces of eyeliner or, that emphatic give away – remnants of nail polish. But! It’s too crass to make ‘easy’ judgements. That Latvian Centre Back with the flat nose and the build of Arnold Schwarzenegger – might dress as alluring Olga at week-ends.
And if you are a footballer and a cross-dresser you must live in holy fear of being discovered. I, as an ex-Premier League player have been on the wrong end of a licentious, lib slobbering press conference where I was asked about my ‘sexual deviancies’ and my ‘erotic fantasies’ – because I’m a cross-dresser and they think such activity is bound up with being ‘gay’ or ‘kinky’ – and that’s far from the truth.* But I can see why it might be difficult for prominent players to ‘come out.’
The answer, surely, is in awareness.
Before the football elite, players, press and fans can be tolerant of cross dressing they need to know what cross-dressing is. Why we do it. And we need to explain what it is not. Dispel some myths about the whole cross-dressing environment.
We all have a duty to do that. So my next blog should explore what cross-dressing is – and why we do it. Please keep your experiences coming in. Let’s share!
May your God bless you.
You can follow my experiences in my book available on Amazon.