How to be Happy – Step 2


How to be happy as a Cross Dresser.  Step Two. SMILE!

If you read the all blogs and all the therapy advertisements on ‘how to be happy’ you would think that finding the solutions to happiness would be really easy:

Live in the moment.

Happiness is in the smaller things in life.

Be thankful for what you’ve got.

These maxims are obviously true. But if I live in the moment I’m always worried that the ‘moment’ won’t last. I can’t be happy living in the past – because the past is gone. And the future always looks so uncertain. Of course, I’m thankful for what I’ve got. I’m grateful that I have gorgeous hair. I would never need a wig.  I come from a notorious slum in East Africa – and I’m grateful that I’ve escaped and that my life has turned a positive course and I’m living well and have ambitions.  But deep down I’m unhappy that I’m a cross dresser and that I’m frightened of coming out – because of who I am and the recriminations if I do come out . So as cross-dresser I’m not happy. But what does make me happy is what I would do if I did come out and all the things I could do to make me happy when that happens. How I could practice being happy.

As I said in my last blog – take steps to avoid being unhappy. If you can’t win make sure you don’t lose.

If you’re out as a cross-dresser I think you have a duty to be a ‘billboard’ for all cross-dressers. Be extra nice! Smile constantly. Be polite, friendly, kind, and generally a lovely person. Make people say.

“He’s such a nice guy!”

“Yes! Did you know he was a cross dresser?”


I’ve talked about walking in high heels a and applying make-up and putting on precise lipstick – and the secret of doing these things perfectly – the secret of being beautiful and feminine is to practice .And what can be more feminine and beautiful than a gorgeous smile.

Happiness too comes with practice. There’s no one size fits all solution to acquiring happiness. But smiling will help light up people around you and they’ll reward you by being grateful you brightened their day a little. So practice smiling. Get out that mirror and smile into it. Dream of the day when you’ll be able to enter a room dressed in those alluring clothes and wearing flawless make-up and stop the world with that appealing smile you’ve been practising.

And if you smile a lot – if you practice constantly – then hey! People will smile back at you and more readily accept who you are. Because acceptance is everything. They say that love is the complete – the total acceptance of another. As a cross-dresser accept who you are. Don’t try to hide it or deny it. It’s a central feature of your whole existence. Trying to bury it will only lead you down a path to the dark side.

Be proud of who you are. It’s something to smile about. It sounds too easy to be true, but research actually shows that you’ll have better health, a better marriage/relationships, and live a whole lot longer if you smile.

So if you haven’t smiled yet today, what are you waiting for?


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