How to be happy

How to be happy as a Cross Dresser – Step One.

The First Team coach said ‘Happy Tiko?’ He was talking about a coaching strategy he’d been describing. And, of course, he meant did I understand what he’d been explaining. And yes, of course I did. Football is a fairly simple game.

“Yes” I said. I’m happy.

But the question got me thinking.

‘Am I really happy?’ What does all that happiness stuff mean?

What dominates my life is the undeniable fact that I’m a cross-dresser.  I study cross-dressing a lot. Read the books, the blogs watch the videos on You-tube. and I haven’t come across anyone yet whose desire – whose passion – for cross-dressing has waned or wilted.

So perhaps the question I should be asking is ‘how to be happy as a cross-dresser?’

I would certainly be happier if I ‘came-out’. If ‘cross-dressing’ was seen as a celebration rather than something to be mocked, ostracised or condemned.

But I can’t come out. I’m too scared. I’m a professional footballer. In the English Premier League. I have to conceal my true identity in this blog. In my native county, Nilemwe, in East Africa. I would be thrown in prison for simply being a cross dresser.  And I don’t think I can be truly happy until those situations are resolved.


There are certain steps you can take, it seems to me, towards the road to happiness.


My team, Melchester City, have been struggling of late. Too many no-scoring draws have started to tarnish any prospects, even at this early stage in the season, of another English Premier League title. City are simply not scoring enough goals. (And that’s where I hope to come in – and hence the reason for Coach’s question) But City have the best defence in the League and so they haven’t lost a game all season. And while a good solid defence is not going to win you trophies you’ll never live in fear of relegation. If you can’t win then don’t lose! If you do not know how to be happy then learn how NOT to be unhappy.

Don’t drink too much or take dangerous drugs. You’ll end up being unhappy.  Don’t overeat. Get exercise. Don’t get into trouble with the Law. Don’t speed or drive over the limit. Don’t shoplift! Or cheat on taxes. Avoid being involved in any form of crime. In short do not do anything illegal. You’ll end up in court or litigation and that will make you unhappy. Don’t get into debt buying all those sumptuous clothes online. Seek help if you have money troubles. Money is the root of all evil and the biggest source of unhappiness.  Don’t upset friends and family – be understanding if they’re not sympathetic to cross-dressing. Don’t be rude to people – you’ll alienate them – and you could end up being lonely – another reason for unhappiness. Don’t neglect your personal health or hygiene – these things will bounce back at you and could cost you money or time off work. Live in a clean environment. Tidy up – do those dishes! empty the trash, get the hoover out – be proud of your living space. Don’t get jealous of other cross-dressers because they look prettier than you. Be nice. Don’t make enemies.

Make a comprehensive list of all the things that make you unhappy – or irritated or impatient or fed-up or exasperated or cross or bad-tempered…! Find a resolution for each one. Tick the box when you’ve succeeded in conquering each of those unhappy annoyances. In short don’t do anything that will end up costing you time, money or relationships. You’ll end up being unhappier.

We’ll talk about how to be happy as a cross-dresser next time.  But don’t be unhappy meanwhile.

Remember Melchester City’s defence. If you can’t win make sure you don’t lose.


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