There are always lots of straights at the Zebra Club. I see them looking at me – thinking ‘is she a ‘real’ woman?’ But they’ve come to ogle the cross-dressers and so they presume I’m a man – they are fascinated, bewitched, enthralled. Perhaps something stirs deep inside them – a single string is plucked and the sound resonates deep inside their psyche. Perhaps. Lots of straights look at me and it seems, to me at least, that they make one of two deductions – assumptions.
Is she a transsexual? She wants to be a woman right? Wants to have that operation.
Is she dressing up because of some type of kinky sexual thing?
This may be the case for some cross dressers but most are simply like me. I’m perfectly comfortable in male skin, but also have a distinctly feminine side of myself that I feel the need to connect with. Most people don’t get that.
And that doesn’t compute for most folks.
As a footballer I train lots and while I go through the training techniques and exercises I’m not at all uncomfortable being dressed in a hyper- male sports strip.
Nor does the thought of putting on pantyhose stir any sexual sensation. It’s all about needing to express my feminine side every now and then.
Where it does become confusing – even for cross-dressers is knowing the difference between something feeling sexy and it actually being sexual.
I can dress in Oscar’s gorgeous gowns and feel amazingly sexy, but it doesn’t stimulate me sexually. It’s bound to be the same for women who put on a daring little number and six inch heels and feel impressively sexy, but that doesn’t mean it gives her a sexual thrill or that she’s manifestly in search of sex by dressing that way. It’s a look, not a kink.
It’s a myth to suggest that cross-dressers are looking to hook-up for sex. Lots of cross-dressers are married. Lots are attracted to women. But it’s still a man’s world and straight men will try to make it all about sex. This is confusing for cross-dressers who are just starting out or who are still in the closet.
What most of us want more than anything, I think, is validation of our femininity. Sadly, the simple way to achieve that is to react to men who will sex up this validation and react to you only as a sex object – and some naïve cross-dressers identify this as an endorsement for approval.
Some cross-dressers don’t dress up fully. Some will just wear women’s underwear or pantyhose under their male clothes and go about their normal male lives. Others might put on dresses but do not feel the need to apply makeup. Some dressers are confined in some way, especially those either still living with family or roommates who don’t know, or have spouses who don’t know. They tend to put on what they can but only when they can, often small items that they can easily be hidden.
Me? Largely because of Oscar’s influence. I’m becoming an all or nothing sort of chic. I need to do the full hair and makeup and sumptuous clothes. Everything.
You? There’s comment option below.