Oscar is a singer. In the Zebra club – a special club in downtown Chanzo city. A night club. For cross-dressers and other devotees of soft sumptuous smocks and frocks. He’s going to take me tonight.
“I’ll pick you up after the game. You can dress at my place.”
And while he was out buying fried chicken (I’m always famished after a game!) he left me alone to put on my make-up. Big mistake! Oscar was not enthralled when he returned.
“You look as though you’ve been ganged-banged by a 10-pack of felt tip pens!” he said.
”You think it’s too much?”
“Yeah, unless you are trying to kill Batman!”
He was right, I suppose I did look more like a drag queen than a beauty queen.
“It’s supposed to be mascara not massacre!”
“A person’s face is absolutely the first thing everyone will see,” Oscar said. “Your makeup can make or break that feminine first impression.”
He picked up my make-up bag and emptied the contents disapprovingly on to the table.
“Quite simply, it’s impossible to apply expert makeup without the right tools.”
He picked up a plastic eye shadow container.
“Forget about these silly, little cheap applicators that come wrapped with most low-cost makeup.”
Threw it in the trash can.
“Upgrading to high quality brushes will give you much more control and instantly improve the appearance of your makeup. You need a separate brush for foundation, and one for your lips and one for eye shadow and…. well it’s all about experimentation and practice. Work out what brushes you need for each stage of application. Find out what’s good for you but don’t scrimp on the basic brushes you should own.”
“Right. Got it.”
“Ok, Tiko you have some skin concerns – like that beard shadow, those blemishes on your chin and those dark dark circles under your eyes …”
“Don’t hold back,” I said.
“The solution is not repeat not to bury them deep under thick concealer. Your makeup always looks much more natural if you start with a colour corrector – one that has a harmonizing tone to neutralize those imperfections. This lets you accomplish gorgeous skin with less makeup.
Find the right tone of corrector to neutralize a dark beard shadow – or a corrector to neutralize a difficult patch. Just a matter of experimenting and practising!”
“Thank you” I said.
“I’m not done yet,” said Oscar. “Look at your eyebrows.”
“Eyebrows create a border for your face, they are literally one of the first things people notice about you.”
“Thought it was my face?”
“Don’t let misshapen brows ruin an expert make-up application.”
“Got it!” I said. How much of this stuff do I have to remember?
“And if eyebrows are the frame for the face your then your skin is the canvas. Proper skin care not only makes you look feminine but it helps you apply smoother make up that will last longer.
Avoid using harsh soap – like the homemade stuff your mum makes. Use a facial cleanser. Use moisturizer. Go for regular face masks.
Got all that?”
I shrugged and nodded uncertainly.
“Remember practice practice practice!
Now wash all that shit off and we’ll make you up properly – let’s make you beautiful.”
Is Oscar right? Let me know.